When I first started on this journey 41 years ago, the road was smooth. It seemed paved with gold. The trees that lined the pathway were dripping in sunlight, my soul was full. It was pink in color, full of love and happiness.Over the years, I would walk down lonely paths, paths that seemed to be dark, with cold rain hitting my face, the wind whipping my hair, and sounds that were haunting my soul. I kept trying to run, run towards the sunlight. The branches were reaching out, as if they had arms, arms that were winding around me with a tight grip. The path was moving, but moving in reverse so that I couldn't feel the warmth. I wandered around, lost, lonely, angry of where I was and who I became until I finally reached a body of water. On the other side of the water was the pathway, the sunlight, the love, the happiness. I tried to swim across... I swam fast as the other side kept whispering my name...like I belonged there. The voice was strong at first. but became weak as the days swept by. Every time I would try to cross the lake it would suck me in, drowning me. I couldn't breathe...it was all around me. The darkness engulfed me. I felt like I could never get away...never.
Until I heard a beautiful voice say...build...build. It was something so easy but I couldn't see it. I suspended my disbelief. I opened my eyes to see the truth. I would build a bridge, a bridge to get to the treasured side. The bridge was built over time with honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, love, discipline, perseverance, spiritual awareness, and service.
I am starting to walk across. My legs are weak, my muscles ache, I can barely catch my breath...but I keep trying, I keep trying. I can see the gold, it is blinding my eyes, the sunlight is keeping me warm. I keep trying... I keep trying.
I get to the end of the bridge and see a set of steps...twelve steps that will get me to the treasured pathway. The one where my soul will be pink again, full of happiness. The one where I will feel arms around me, but they will be filled with love...love and peace. I want this, I want it so bad that I start to weep. I hear the voice say " I'm here, just try...just try". So I reach my foot out to put it on the 1st step, but I am terrified, terrified that I will fail, that I can't do it. I won't be able to reach the top. I'm too tired, too weak. Suddenly, I feel a hand, a hand that feels strong. It feels trusting. I grab on, with everything in me, I grab on.
As long as I keep holding the hand, I can take each step. I don't feel alone. I finally got to the top! I made it! It was warm, I covered my eyes in disbelief. I couldn't believe that this really existed. There is freedom here, freedom from the darkness.
May your journey be filled with treasures beyond your belief... beyond your belief.
I'm just saying...
